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I’m Ugly And It Makes Me A Better Girlfriend

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. When I was a little kid I thought I was beautiful. I would stand in front of the mirror in my room dressed for...

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All The Time I Wasted Being Pretty

Somehow, while I was busy being beautiful, time passed. Now, I’m just the mom you pass in the supermarket; the woman you don’t notice. It feels like just yesterday I was youthful and beautiful, and...

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I’m Almost 40 And This Is Not What I Wanted My Life To Be

I need to come to terms with the fact that my dream may never come true. I’ve just turned 38, and I’m single. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (POCS) and am currently on day 23 of my period (as in...

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Why I’ll Never, Ever Get Over My Girlfriend’s Murder

Please don’t tell me how to grieve. Dealing with the end of a relationship is never easy. No matter how rough or clean the break was, there’s still parts of you that you have to pull back together. You...

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I Broke Up With One Of My Best Friends And I’ve Never Felt Better

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do, is to walk away. I broke up with one of my best friends a month ago. And I have felt nothing but sweet relief that it is over. It all came to a head in my...

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How Meditation Uncovered The Mystery Behind My Triggers​

Panic attacks are a screeching ambulance siren. “You look like you’re ready for lift-off,” said the dentist. “Bracing for the Novocaine needle,” I said, still gripping the armrests. He smiled and...

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Why I Finally Decided To Stop Taking Birth Control

When my doctor wanted put me on the pill, I agreed. But that was the wrong move.  Adult life is a scary thing. There are so many things that you have to be in control of. You have to make sure that you...

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Dear Dad: I Did Just Fine Without You

You made me feel like I was replaceable and unloveable, and I’ve carried that with me my entire life. Dear Dad, For as long as I can remember, I’ve tried to pretend I’m okay with not having you around,...

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Being Raped Forced Me To Lose More Than Just My Virginity

I lost my virginity to rape, at 13 years old. As friends get to know one another, they usually share stories, and the more you get to know somebody, the more personal those stories become. One of my...

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I’m Genderfluid And Here’s What I’d Like You To Know

The saying “gender is between the ears and sexuality is between the legs” is easy to remember, but too simplistic. Your gender is whatever you feel and believe it is. You can’t do your gender wrong....

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I Feel Ashamed For Needing Anxiety Meds​

Unless there is a reason to believe that someone is misusing their medication, we should be treated as patients, not addicts.  On a warm, summer night after catching a film with a friend during summer...

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Why It’s Okay To Feel Really Lonely

Loneliness can be your friend. When I was 17, my dad and stepmother split up and sold our house, leaving me to find a place to live on my own. I moved into a tiny apartment downtown and ended up living...

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Why I’m A Relentless Overachiever

In my mind, if I do not incessantly succeed, people have no reason to rely on me. Believe in me. Love me. A childhood nickname made me who I am today. Well, at the very least, it started me on a path...

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To All Those Who Don’t Know If They’ve Been Sexually Assaulted

Here’s the thing: I have no memory of ever being sexually assaulted or abused. When I was in 7th grade, I remember being a pretty average teen girl. I remember wearing blue jeans and my sister’s old...

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The Women Who Helped Me After My Sexual Assault

And I wonder how I could have left these women out of my story, how I could have given all my attention to the men who had hurt me instead of the women who had helped me. When I’ve told this story in...

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Here’s Why New Year’s Resolutions Are The Absolute Worst

Crappy New Year.  New Year’s resolutions are a bit of a double-edged sword. On their face, they may seem helpful, motivating, an encouraging marker we’ve set for ourselves after evaluating the end of...

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I’m Diabetic, And Sometimes I Don’t Care

There are both grand and trite lessons one learns with a chronic illness. On my most recent trip to Europe, my friend introduced me to his dearest friends who own a small Chateau in Thiers. They...

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No, I Don’t Want To Be Your Token Black Best Friend

For many non-melanated folks, admiring black culture is easy. Loving and caring for black people, not so much. Growing up in a suburb of Cleveland, I always had many white friends. As most black...

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The One Thing Lupus Took From Me That I Don’t Miss At All

Lupus was the ugly secret I hid in the closet, the sloppy drunk friend I pretended not to know.   “Measure fifty!” the cellist beside me hissed. The notes in front of me wandered off the page to flit...

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I Have Compassion For Everyone Struggling With Depression. Except Myself.

If I were speaking to someone else who felt this way, I would say, “It’s okay. I’ve struggled with depression pretty much my whole life. My earliest memories of stifling depression go back to the age...

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